While the self remains the favourite subject of anyone with an intact frontal lobe, it is nonetheless the ultimate banality. To be introspective is as interesting as to be an ostrich. The navel is not an abyss, but we may lose ourselves in't, Horatio. And when you gaze into the navel, it bites your head off. I'm no exception, but I harbour quite an acute sense of ridicule, and I know that hell is in the details. I endeavour to be as self-effacing as possible, but can't help it when the spleen cries for release.
And that is where it all begins. I really wish I could disappear, vanish... and at the same time would that I could be everywhere. The present is never enough; I'd rather be a nonentity in Ephesus than a sun-king in Desterro. The future is the only way, and forward we go, Manichaean soldiers. The nether regions speak: thou art an amoralist, dumbass. Whereas the grey zones, eyes downcast: be a man, for Heaven's sake. What a piece of work and piece of shit is man; he delights me not. Nor woman either, but the amoralist doth crave to devour her flesh and her soul.
Welcome to the House of Asterion. All may enter: man, beast, woman, child and nonentity. Truly-truly I say unto you: he is indeed stark mad, hubristic and an enemy to his fellow man, but a jolly good chap and a magnificent bastard to boot; you should see him dance the polka. He is human and needs to be loved just like everybody else does, but—there's the rub—shame on him!—he's ashamed of it, ashamed to be human, and there's not a fig leaf in the entire God-damned universe wide enough to cover his shame. But he doesn't give a fig, does he? Nooo, he thinks he's too good to be good, the bloody fool—he's an oxy-moron.
Great Scott, what is your point, Henry? My point, sir, is that there is no point. Life goes on, and he keeps pushing his boulder uphill like the good-for-nothing nihilarian that he is. He fills his mind with things, and calls it an occupation. He can dream, yet is p'wned by reality. He says he wants to be a real man: take a wife, breed, spend time with his family and die with dignity... yet all he ever does is play with himself and his fiendish females. If only he had some shred of innocence, but he is utterly corrupt and devious. Alone in the ranks of mankind, he is impure.
I'm afraid there is no redemption, gentlemen. He grows stronger everyday. Given time, Edward the bastard shall top the legitimate.